I checked the weather this morning. It seems unlikely Denver will have a “white Christmas” this year. When I saw this, two thoughts hit me at once: 1) I’m so bummed and 2) how can I make it snow on Christmas?
Herein lies my insanity.
Make it snow on Christmas? Who do I think I am? Last year, I wrote about how I have a lot of expectations around Christmas, but this is next level. And it got me thinking: where else am I suffering from the illusion of control?
I try to control my job, my kids, and the future. If you have a job or kids or a future, you probably know how impossible controlling those things is. That hasn’t stopped me so far. I’ve gone on to try controlling the performance of football teams, other people’s choices (especially when those choices affect me), other people’s opinions of me, and I’ve even fantasized about swaying public opinion itself (“Hey, Everyone, why don’t we stop climate change?”).
Expecting that level of control is exhausting.
The beautiful thing (I’m slowly realizing) is, the need for control is also an illusion. I don’t need control. I don’t need the stress of it. This is, of course, easier said than done, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: meditation helps. Just being aware of my need for control and when I’m suffering under its illusion is a start to giving it up.
It doesn’t have to snow on Christmas. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Nothing has to be perfect. I can savor whatever I do have. (Meditation helps here, too.) And being present and grateful for the holidays, that is truly a gift.
Update December 30, 2023
Ironically, it snowed on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. It was wonderful. And I didn’t make it happen.