Everything we own has a “should” attached to it. That expectation is sometimes more of a burden than the thing itself.
I played the trombone in high school. I enjoyed playing it and the friends I made in band but when high school ended so did my days of playing the trombone. And yet, I held onto my trombone for a little over a decade. I probably moved it across the country as many times as I played it. What I didn’t realize was that along with the instrument I was carrying something far more burdensome—the should.
For those ten years whenever I saw my trombone sitting in the closet I would say to myself, "I should play my trombone." Then I would think of all the reasons I could not play the trombone. After this war of thoughts I would feel tired and guilty.
Finally, after ten years of the shoulds (and the accompanying pangs of guilt), I'd had enough. I took my trombone out of the basement and donated it to the band teacher of the elementary school where I was working.
In all honesty, during my decade long bout of the shoulds I didn't recognize the emotional baggage I was carrying along with that trombone. I had not only let go of a thing. I had let go of an expectation. And boy did it feel good.
I began to recognize other things in my life that were giving me the shoulds. Each time I gave something away I felt a little lighter. The guilt of not using those objects was replaced by relief that someone else would now use them and joy at the mental and physical space I'd created in my life. Now when the shoulds come up it's in the form of, "I really should find a new home for that."