My wife and I were on the way to my workplace Christmas party when she confronted me.
“You have a lot of expectations around Christmas,” she said. “It seems like every year after Christmas you’re disappointed. So what is it that you want out of Christmas?”
She was right (as usual). I do expect a lot from Christmas. I want it to be perfect. The problem is, I don’t know what my perfect Christmas looks like. To be sure, the perfect Christmas will involve trade-offs and making hard choices. Even with a month of “Christmas season” there is not enough time to watch all the movies, bake all the treats, and sing at every Messiah sing-a-long.
Is my perfect Christmas a very modest one? Or does it look like something out of a Crate & Barrel catalog? Does my perfect Christmas involve many people and parties? Or should I spend more time focusing on only a select few? What holiday treats do I want for my perfect Christmas? What is the soundtrack? Is It's a Wonderful Life required for perfect Christmas bliss?
The obvious answer is that the perfect Christmas centers on Jesus Christ. But even then the options are many. What books of scripture should I study? To what good causes should I donate my money or time? Should I sing in the church choir? Whom do I serve and how? How much time do I carve out for pondering the majesty and humility of Christ's birth, life, and Atonement? (And how do I convince my kids to let me have time for pondering?)
Maybe to have the perfect Christmas I need to capture the magic, the mystery, the anticipation that I had as a little kid? Or maybe I’ve already had the perfect Christmas? I remember my first Christmas in Mexico City when I was 10. My family bought presents and a Christmas dinner for a family in our congregation who didn’t have much. A few days before Christmas we delivered the food and presents to their two-room house. I barely understood Spanish at the time but the look on the mother’s tear-streaked face was clear as day to me. After we left, I told my parents, “Now it feels like Christmas.”
Before that night, I was focused on what Christmas was missing—snow, in particular—instead of being grateful for what Christmas meant. As Joshua Becker wrote, “We get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect holiday season that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us.” What if gratitude is the key missing ingredient in a “perfect” Christmas?
Here is how I answer my wife’s question: what is it that you want out of Christmas? I want Christmas to remind me of the richness and lightness of gratitude. I want Thanksgiving to kick off a season of mindful appreciation and for Christmas to cap it off. And most of all, I want to spend time showing gratitude to Jesus Christ, my Savior, my Light, and my Friend. That would be perfect.